Thursday 15 December 2011

You Can't Fix Stupid

Alright after the disaster that was UFC140 for my UFC blog and seen as though it's a good two weeks before the next fight card I thought I'd shoot the shit about some of the things I love and some of the things that just in general piss me off no end.

As any of you who know me will know; probably the most used word in my vocabulary is retard. Now to all those politically correct save the planet; you can't say that gobshites who believe that's an insensitive word. It is not. The only reason it's an insensitive word is because that is the meaning you have given it yourself. Very simple when you stop to think about it. This is the wonders of linguistics my overly sensitive friend. A lot of words have multiple meanings and if you want to actually look at the definition of the word you'll see it means to make slow, or to hinder or impede. It's just the same as calling someone a moron or an idiot but it gets the point across a hell of a lot quicker because behind the P.C. bullshit that a lot of people like to hide behind it's what they're thinking anyway. You can't really get offended unless you've already decided that's what the word means. So in reality you understand the context but you're being a cunt about it. It's just dumb. People are getting more stupid by the day.
It's usually the same people that will complain about foul language.. Ooh someone said fuck.. Like OMG Holy S-H-I-T you can't say that. Actually add that to the list. People who spell out a so-called curse word. That's the height of retardom (if that's not a word it is now) there my friends. We're not having a spelling test.. Do you do that with any other words? If you do please don't talk to me. I gave up listening to other people spell in 2nd class. It was annoying then and it sure as hell isn't worth now. Seriously.. For fuck sake. 30 years ago you couldn't buy a condom in Ireland; look how far we've come and yet some words are still off limit to people. Here's my thing with language and anyone that's watched the excellent Fuck documentary (no not a lovers guide although that is pretty awesome too for a retard like me ;) lessons learnt and what not.. Yes it's helped leave a few unlucky ladies slightly less unsatisfied than they may have been otherwise) will sort of understand where I'm coming from. Fuck in a way is a word that transcends a lot of boundaries and is a great word. It conveys a message and has hundreds of different meanings depending on how you use it.
Case in point read these 2 sentences and tell me which gets the message across quicker.
a) He's an empty vessel.
b) He's a fucking retard.
Both mean you're an idiot. Just b gets the message across with an exclamation mark without using one.

See where I'm going with this? Simply put I don't want to have to explain something if someone doesn't get it. For me conversation is like fractions. It's finding the lowest common denominator and rolling with it. I'm at the point where I've zero interest in being careful with the words I use because someone has a negative thought on their meaning. That's you're problem not mine. All I want to do is get the message across in any way that anyone will understand.

A similar situation happens with the word cunt because some people think it's derogatory to women. In fairness we all know cunts and we're happy to think they're cunts so why not use the word. It's a hell of a word and it can be used for women or men. It's a great word. Really is. It's like when dickhead or asshole is not strong enough to describe that person in my opinion. Cunt seems to be the next rung on the ladder and yet again it's something someone understands straight away. No questions asked it's like boom they get it.

There's a great stand up piece by Joe Rogan about the use of cunt that I hope you'll enjoy.

Which brings me to why I got to thinking about this subject again and thought it best to put it in writing so that it's as clear as I can make it. It's December 16th 2011 and to say the words are out of line really is silly. Come on to fuck. Grow up. It's not that difficult to understand and like you've a problem when you hear them in a movie. I've never seen anyone walk out of a flick when they hear the word fuck or cunt but I've sure as hell got some glaring you can't say that looks when I've decided to use them in a sentence. By no means am I stupid but I'll be seriously disappointed if someone is of the opinion that them struggling to find a word with a few extra syllables in the hope that it makes them sound smart is a better means than using a simpler term that is easy to understand. Seriously what's the problem?

Listen to the genius that is George Carlin on the subject of the 7 words you can't say on TV or Radio and you'll soon understand the errors of your path.

Anyway that's my rant over for now. So long story short don't be retarded and if you're offended by that. Go fuck yourself for being so silly. You can do many things in this life but simply put by the great philosopher Ron White "You Can't Fix Stupid. Stupid is forever!"


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