Friday, 24 June 2011

The Race To Redemption

Alright ladies and sirs,

So here we go.. We're a few hours away from qualifying for the European GP in Valencia. Despite Vettel doing his own Charlie Sheen style WINNING. It's been an epic season full of great races. 3 years ago we'd have killed for this level of entertainment and here we are 7 races into the season with complaints of too much overtaking.. Fuck that. What we're seeing is racing throughout the field which we previously had to pray that someone made a balls of qualifying for and to race through the field.. We were left longing for a Kimi Suzuka 2005 style moment.. So far we've had more races going down to the wire; with less than 2 seconds covering the first 2 cars home more frequently than any season in recent memory. We finally have races that aren't over after the first corner! It's been great for F1 and for TV. The viewing numbers confirm it.. More and more people staying glued for the whole race and we're also seeing people start watching mid race and stay watching until the race is over.. Why you ask? PIRELLI PZEROS is why.. Pirelli where asked to make tyres that replicated the madness of Montreal 2010 and they've done it perfectly. Strategy is key again despite the lack of refuelling which I think we miss badly..Christ play around with the rules.. How interesting could the strategy game be if we allowed the cars knocked out in the first stage of qualifying to have a free refuelling strategy.. could that bring the no-hopers like Virgin, Team Lotus and Hispania into play.. Maybe not but it could open a whole new window of opportunity!

There's been a few interesting trends this season that may be worth keeping an eye on to see how they develop.

1. Lewis Hamilton. As much as I love Lewis' balls out slinging dick get out of my way or i'm going to drive you off the road style.. This season he seems to be dropping a clanger too many rather easily. It's as if he thinks he's playing Carmageddon smashing into any car he gets close to (including one that shares the same colour scene as his own most recently). Is it because he's black that he's being punished he asked.. No it's because you're meant to get past them not drive through them Lewis.

2. Williams all over the shop and slow.. Having got rid of Hulkenberg for the equally talented Moldonado (every million is the equivalent to every tenth you're slower than the other guy. If you subtract the millions from the time difference and are within a second of the faster guy.. Chances are money wins the contract). Fun time Frankie appears to be paying the price for not playing ball with BMW back in the day and selling up. The car looks bad and if Rubinho went any slower this year he'd be going backwards.. It's a sad state of affairs and what's the answer to rescue the situation? Mike Coughlan of photo copying fame. Williams are 14 years removed from their last championship and at the rate they're going they're not going to see even the podium in the near future.

3. The Prancing Horse to wheezing donkey mystery. They've gone from the most dangerous team on the grid at the end of last season to complete outsiders this season. When even Alonso looks lost you know there's something amiss. Is this a hangover from last season's championship loss in Abu Dhabi or a sign of the Prancing Horse not being able to keep up with the Raging Bulls? Only time will tell. When the sexy tone of Rob Smedley's "Felipe Baby" radio call is starting to be the highlight of most Ferrari races you've got to ask questions. If this was horse racing someone would be getting the shot gun ready to put the Prancing Horse out of it's misery. It's only a matter of time I think before you hear the fabled we're concentrating on 2012 from now on.

4. Old man Schumi getting back to what he does best. Still slow in qualifying but the old sly dog is showing signs of the racecraft that earned him 7 world titles. Admittedly I'm a huge Schumi fan in every sense of the word (I love the man and Nigel Mansell style I'd be too fat for a cockpit of an F1 car). Yes there's been signs of geriatric moves in Turkey but the race pace all too often missing last year; has returned this year..The most recent race in Canada showing the reinmeister has lost none of his touch. Schumacher has consistently gained places on the start over the last 2 seasons and there's been no sign of last season's Schumi train where he was holding up 4 or 5 cars on regular occasions. One thing that's still in serious doubt is his ability over 1 lap.. He's been outqualified 6-1 this season so far but unlike Rosberg he's managed to gain positions on his starting place and is level on points with Rosberg at this point. I'm hoping the comeback continues to gather pace. Everyone loves that sort of story and arguably there may still be a win or 2 if the conditions are right in the old dog yet. If Mercedes can give him the car to challenge it would be interesting to see what he could do.

So there we have it.. The men and teams in need of some of redeeming results and improvements. It's easy to say they can find it in time but it's not always the case. Ask any Nazi how long it took them to find the Frank family and they'll give you a dirty look (token Ann Frank joke in honour of as well as tell you it wasn't easy.

What to expect this weekend? I have a sneaking suspicion that this could be Hamilton's weekend. McLaren were strong as hell in Monaco and Red Bull are due a bit of misery. We sort of need some divine intervention to stop the Red Bulls (God of the Tifosi or Jean Todt as he's more commonly known may provide this with the blown diffuser rule changes) and  hope that Seb Vettel doesn't go disappearing in this championship like he's trying to do a championship double by stealing the world hide and seek crown off Maddie McCann. F1 has redeemed it's self massively this year thanks to Pirelli and the overtaking aids (DRS and KERS). Here's hoping they continue to help and save some of the traditionally boring races. This weekend is one of the litmus tests for this formula and hopefully it replicates the drama of Monaco without having the anti climax of a red flag that was like a case of premature ejaculation whilst receiving a blowjob; all the excitement and build up and all that was left was disappointment that it didn't end the way it should have.

I promise these will improve as I go along.

So Long for now Perverts!

per·vert  (pr-vĂ»rt)
tr.v. per·vert·edper·vert·ingper·verts
1. To cause to turn away from what is right, proper, or good; corrupt.
2. To bring to a bad or worse condition; debase.
3. To put to a wrong or improper use; misuse. See Synonyms at corrupt.
4. To interpret incorrectly; misconstrue or distort: an analysis that perverts the meaning of the poem.